Kevin Daliva
Columnist

Okay, let’s face it, technology is everywhere in our lives. We live in a world where texting, emails, and cell phones are easier, and subsequently more frequently used than face-to-face contact.

However, unlike the popular stereotype held by the elder generation, technology does far more and better than rot our brains. These are the top seven lessons I’ve learned from technology. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Shigeru Miyamoto, here’s to you.

7. The difference between Good and Evil. Mario = good, Bowser = bad. Ash and his Pokémon = good, Team Rocket = bad. You likely didn’t have to wrack your conscience to figure out these examples.

Not only did Mario teach us how to tame green dinosaurs and ride them around, he also showed us that even plumbers can change the world. And Ash, with the help of his woodland friends, consistently foiled the plot of a corporation that was hell-bent on destroying the world.

With idols like these, it’s no wonder we have a completely crime-free world. Oh wait… never mind.

6. Try, try, and try again. Uh oh, AIM isn’t working; what should I do?

Have you tried uninstalling and then reinstalling? The real lesson here is: When in doubt, reboot.

5. SAVE ALL OF YOUR WORK! I’m finally done with the paper I worked on all night! I printed it out and promptly shut down the computer, arriving at school the next day with a fresh, clean copy. Wait… I had to submit it to Turnitin.com? Well, there goes 10 percent of my grade.

4. Becoming famous does NOT require talent. I once believed that becoming famous required amazing vocal ability, prowess on the dance floor, or intelligence beyond measure. I was wrong.
Don’t believe me? YouTube these: William Hung, doglover199709, Ms. Teen South Carolina.

3. My entire life cannot be summed up in 3,000 characters. Facebook asks its users to write an “about me” section. That’s all good and well, but it only gives us a measly 3,000 characters (about 500 words) – barely enough space for me to tell you about the time my Uncle Fred accidentally lit the horses on fire, let alone provide you with an ample smattering of my life.

2. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A = life. Thirty lives to be exact. Got to love those cheat codes.

1. Love can be measured in the number of fire flowers one consumes. After going on a quest fighting balls of fire, unexpected ghosts, turtles throwing boomerangs, and any other psychotic means of torture that you can possibly conjure, Mario finally finds his Princess. But wait! It’s actually not the princess; it’s a goomba IN DISGUISE! So he has to trek into some God-forsaken desert or onto some ridiculous ship: now that, my friends, is devotion.

It is clear that technology has truly influenced my life, and most likely yours as well. But we should never forget the lessons that we have learned from building intimate connections and actually living real life.

Go meet some people, have fun at a party, or at least invite people over to play video games with you! As for me? I should probably get off this computer, but Donkey Kong said the answers to my homework were on Facebook. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to always heed the words of the talking gorilla.