Kevin Daliva
Columnist

It was early on a brisk fall morning when I set my frosty shake down on the table before me and decided to pursue my favorite pasttime: reading the dictionary. After reading for quite a while, I finally reached the word “literally.” Something perplexing crossed my path. The word had two definitions: “virtually” and “actually”. The dictionary pointed out that the two seemed like opposites and that one was often considered a misuse of the word, but both were considered correct.

This struck a blow to the aspiring linguist in me. So many people had misused a word that even the dictionary had to change. So, I spent some time with my favorite dictionary (Merriam Webster’s to be exact) and compiled a list of words that I thought people either misused or overused. Please study these carefully, so that we can save these words from sharing the fate of “literally.”

Awkward – adj.

What we think it means: A word to fill in a quiet moment in time or something to say after a joke.

Example of incorrect usage:
Student 1: I like pie.
Student 2: Well, that is awkward.

The problem: When people use the word awkward, the situation becomes even more awkward than it was to begin with. This is a huge issue, especially when people use the phrase, “That’s
awkward” when in actuality nothing awkward has happened at all.

What it really means: lacking social grace

Example of correct usage:
Student 1: I just watched A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila with my parents.
Student 2: Wow, that’s awkward.

Words to convey what you actually mean: Funny, disturbing, perturbing, hilarious, sad, quiet, embarrassing.

How to fix it: Upon entering or being forced into a potentially awkward situation, use the Kevin Daliva method of LEASE to decide whether or not the situation is awkward: L- Look around and check the reactions of other people to the current situation. E- Examine these reactions and see if anyone is disturbed by the recent occurrence. A- Answer the question, “Is there a better word to describe what’s going on right now?” S- Speak: say what is on your mind (This step can be skipped if someone has spoken before you). E- Exhale.

Legit – adj. (for serious)

What we think it means: A shortened form of the word “legitimate” often used to mean official

Example of incorrect usage:
Student 1: I heard those two are going out.
Student 2: No way! Is that like… legit?

The problem: People use the word legit to make what they say seem official or true. But how much can you really trust someone who does not know what “legit” actually means? More so, shortening it just furthers the assertion that many adults hang on to: kids are lazy and things just aren’t like the “good old days.”

What it really means: Nothing… however, “legitimate” means “to be in accordance with the law.”

Example of correct usage: none for the word legit

Student 1: My sister’s printing fake I.D.’s now; want me to hook us up?
Student 2: Umm, well, is that like, legitimate?

Words to convey what you actually mean: true, real.

How to fix it: Stop reconfirming everything you say. There is no reason at all to end every sentence with the phrase, “like… legit.” People will believe you… as long as you are not a pathological liar or something.

LOL – not actually a word

What we think it means: A way to laugh online and offline while in a group of friends. Commonly pronounced “lawl.”

Example of incorrect usage:
While not at a computer:
Student 1: And the other guy says, “That’s not a kangaroo, that’s my wife!”
Student 2: That’s such a great joke! LOL!

The problem: Not only will this make you look weird, but you will also embarrass your friends. Do not force them to pretend they don’t know you. This can be especially detrimental in a large, quiet setting (e.g. the IMC).

What it really means: Laughing Out Loud. This is only to be used online (even when no one is, in
fact, laughing).

Example of correct usage:
While speaking on instant messenger:
Student 1: And the other guy says, “That’s not a kangaroo, that’s my wife!”
Student 2: That’s such a great joke! LOL!

Words to convey what you actually mean: hahaha, hehehe, hohoho .

How to fix it: Easy one-step solution. Ask yourself: “Self, am I online?” If the answer is yes, feel free to LOL all you want. If the answer is no, laugh like a normal person and not like a robot.

Awesome – adj. (and other superlatives)

What we think it means: A word to comment on anything. Whether it is in actuality a good thing or just a normal occurrence.

Example of incorrect usage:
Student 1: So I just washed my hands.
Student 2: That’s just awesome.

The problem: This is simply explained in one quote from The Incredibles: “When everyone’s super, no one will be.”

What it really means: Inspiring a feeling of reverence, admiration, etc.

Example of correct usage:
Student 1: I finished the last 17 math assignments last night because I knew there’d be a homework quiz today.
Student 2: That’s just awesome.

Words to convey what you actually mean: cool, fun, crazy, reckless.

How to fix it: Check the five-point scale of awesome.
1: This could put plants to sleep.
2: My three-year-old brother wouldn’t be impressed.
3: That’s nice, but then again… so is pie.
4: God’s jealous.
5: Ninjas wish they could do that.

Anything higher than a three is a candidate for the word awesome, though those on the third tier should be carefully reviewed first.

So, GBS, stop going around using these oh-so-common words incorrectly. No need to make an awkward situation out of absolutely nothing. Go find an awesome dictionary and make sure all the words you use are like… legit. Whoops. LOL.